We
didn’t know which was funnier, the sound engineer dressed in flip flops, a
straw hat and a Scottish kilt or Cathy, the leader of the open mic who calls
herself the “big butt bitch of the beach.”
Welcome
to the Flora-Bama, titled as such for the fact that it sits on one side of the
Alabama state line and the other in Florida and is world-renowned for its
rowdiness.
The
Flora-Bama has been a landmark in the Gulf Shores-Orange Beach area since 1964,
back when the Alabama coast was called the “Redneck Riviera.” The romping
roadhouse with its multiple concert spaces, oyster bar, gift shop, pool hall,
beachside bar and eatery and liquor store celebrates its 50th
anniversary this year, still going strong even though the emerald coast has
since turned upscale. In addition, the sprawling venue over two states hosts
special events, including the immensely popular Mullet Toss where people — yes
— toss fish for prizes.
Try
the Bushwacker, the bar’s signature drink, a combination of rums and other
wonderful ingredients. So creamy and good you’ll forget yourself and your rowdy
attitude will fit right in.
If
your date’s a bore or you don’t like the music, try reading the walls. They’re
covered with wit from past customers, plus there are some awesome relics from
by-gone music days.
If
you’re looking for more sophistication, the Flora-Bama Yacht Club waterfront
restaurant is across the street, just behind the Waffle House.
While
we were listening to Cathy belt out crowd favorites in the lounge area closest
to the street, we noticed children with parents wondering around and had that
bar scene in “Sweet Home Alabama” flitting through our heads, the one where
Reese Witherspoon spots an old friend in a bar with a child on her hip and
says, “You have a baby…in a bar!” If you must bring kids, you might want to
avoid the large bar-concert space toward the back with the bras hanging from
the ceiling. The time we visited after Katrina there was a man belting out how
much he despised insurance companies in very colorful language.
And
don’t even bother asking the sound engineer what’s beneath his kilt. He’ll do a
little striptease that ends up showing another layer beneath, like a tease.
“Nothing
more scary than Velco,” he said when he pulled apart his kilt revealing more
fabric. “Just like a shotgun being pulled.”
After a few Bushwackers, we weren’t scared. Just disappointed. And we yelled out frustrations with the other women in the crowd.
After a few Bushwackers, we weren’t scared. Just disappointed. And we yelled out frustrations with the other women in the crowd.
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